Paying a visit to the Ladies' Toilets.

Crossdressers have usually had the unique experience of visiting both Men's and Women's toilets during their life time and isn't there a difference!

Men's toilets are dour, smelly places where no one talks, not even to your best friend, except if it is at the footy, but the conversation must be limited to questioning the intelligence of the referee and his clear bias towards the opposing team of Neanderthals. There are strict, but unspoken, rules about where one stands at the trough - never next to another man unless it is packed and only then with an internal increase in anxiety. Eyes must never be seen to gaze below the horizontal or more than 5 degrees left or right. Hand washing is considered an optional extra. The aim is to get in and out of there in the shortest time possible.

The Ladies' toilets are, in contrast, the places of bright chatter and laughter. Anything can and will be discussed, no matter how personal. Conversations will occur between cubicles several feet apart. No one is in a rush, even if there is a queque. After the compulsory thorough handwashing, makeup is repaired, hair tidied up, and clothes smoothed and straightened. The conversations continue unabated.

The crossdresser is, however, at a bit of a disadvantage. She cannot talk out loud for fear of discovery. She must sit to pass urine which may be unaccustomed for her. If she does insist on using the standing position (Heaven Forbid!), then she must remember to lower the seat. Also, she has trouble mimicking the tinkling sound that women make passing urine. However, by sitting towards the back of the seat, leaning forwards and positioning one's male appendage towards the water, one can create a pretty fair simile.

While most women tolerate or ignore the occasional crossdresser in their Inner Sanctum, some do not like it, so follow the rules above and do not spend longer than necessary preening one's self.

A final note, if you are ever dressed in Sydney CBD and you are near the Queen Victoria Building, it should be compulsory to visit the Ladies' Toilets on Level 2. They are amazing: sumptuous floor-to-ceiling marble, massive cubicles, stylish fittings and comfortable seating. Quite an experience.

Christine Parker, Seahorse Webmistress.

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