25 possible reasons for not attending Seahorse meetings

Originally taken from Rhonda's RoundUp in November 1995 Seahorse Magazine and reprinted in 2005. It has also appeared in Seahorse Queensland's magazine in the May-June edition of 2001 and September 2010.

Although is meant to be light-hearted, some the reasons for not attending meetings are real and some are silly. Sad to say, they are the same reasons today as they were in 1995.

This slightly modified version includes Christine's serious and witty responses to these typical lame excuses.

1. I am apprehensive about making a transition from the home by myself to a public meeting place in the company of others.
   Yes, we have all experienced that. It usually disappears by your second meeting. Our meeting place is quite private, so can act as a stepping stone to more public places.
   
   
2. I'm unable to "get away" from home as the family is unaware of my cross-dressing.
   The options are to say that you going to some unspecified "men's group" (which is sort of true) and come along in boy-mode and get changed at the meeting or, better still, finally be honest with your family about this important part of your life. Only you can chose which option works for you.
   
   
3. I feel that when "dressed" I would not "pass" as a woman and are therefore reluctant to attend a place full of slim, sexy transvestites, hot off the pages of "Dior" magazine.
   Most of us do not "pass" (and not longer care if we do or not). Generally speaking, we are a fairly mature bunch, comfortable with ourselves, but certainly most of us are no longer slim and gorgeous.
   
   
4. I'm happy just "playing" at home and receiving the magazine.
   Come on, be honest, are you really satisified with that?
   
   
5. I'm hopeless at putting on make-up.
   We were all once hopeless at that. We often have discussion nights focussing on make-up. You can learn a lot. Learn about make-up here.
   
   
6. I have no fashion sense.
   You can learn that through example and discussion with other members. We have learnt what looks good on the male body shape.
   
   
7. I have no clothes or make-up with which to "transform" myself and are reluctant to purchase these items.
   Have you heard of Ebay? So much can be bought on-line these days and delivered to a post box if privacy is an issue.
   
   
8. I'm size 26 and built like a brick shithouse.
   Believe me, you will not be the only "big girl" there at the meeting.
   
   
9. I'm size 10, have a great figure, gorgeous face and I'm scared I won't know where this will lead me and I might go "all the way" and want to change sex.
   Lucky you, but you will know yourself how far to go.
   
   
10. I'm reluctant to show my wife up as I may just be better looking (as a girl) than she is.
    I am sure that she can cope and would probably disagree with you anyway. You are still her man in her eyes.
    
    
11. The bloke next door hates poofters and has a .22 rifle and I fear he may see me leaving the house.
    I am sure that he will be down the pub on Friday nights. If not, come along in boy mode and change at the meeting.
    
    
12. I constantly tell myself "I'll go next month".
    Man-up, you big girl! Bite the bullet and stop procrastinating.
    
    
13. Maybe I'll be "cured" soon and all the desires will go away.
    When cross-dressers use the word "cured", we are talking about ham. There is no cure, except to enjoy it.
    
    
14. I wouldn't be able to drive in 4" high heels.
    That would be dangerous and probably illegal anyway. Drive in a pair of sensible shoes and stick the stilettos on when you arrive.
    
    
15. What if I got picked up by the police for speeding, or breathalysed, or some other minor infringement.
    Most of us have had the experience of being breathalysed at least once while dressed and have been treated respectfully by the Police. Most of us do not exceed the speed limit while dressed. Don't give the police one more thing that you have to explain. More details here
    
    
16. I might have a car accident and be taken to the wrong hospital!
    What? The Women's hospital? Hospitals are used to all sorts of unusual presentations. There may be a few giggles from some junior nurses, but you will be treated like anyone else (i.e., waiting endlessly for treatment).
    
    
17. I own a sports convertible and don't want my wig to blow off.
    Buy a scarf or buy a sedan! Wanker!
    
    
18. I might get "aroused" and embarrass myself with a "lump in my skirt."
    You can learn the art of "tucking", so that little fellow ain't going anywhere!
    
    
19. I couldn't possibly go out dressed. What if I want to go to the toilet?
    If you are dressed like a lady, go to the Ladies. You will look pretty silly going into the Gents. At our meeting place we have Men's, Ladies, and a large disabled toilet. Just go to which ever one is free. Find out about visiting the Ladies in this article by Christine.
    
    
20. Maybe other members will try to "pick me up" and make lurid sexual advances towards me. I'm straight, married and a father!
    We have a clear policy on soliciting. We are a social group and not a dating service and so we request members not to overtly solicit relationships at any meetings or Society organized social functions. Read our Guidelines about acceptable behaviour
    
    
21. I have a weak heart and the excitement and adrenaline rush in presenting myself in public as a woman would be too much for the ticker and my GP has advised against it.
    Well, at least you told your doctor about your cross-dressing. That's good. It is unlikely that it will kill you. In fact most cross-dressers actually feel calmer dressed as a woman after they get pass the initial excitement.
    
    Remember: "Feeling stress? Put on a dress!"
    
    
22. The $7.00 meeting attendance fee is more than I can afford.
    Hey, Scrouge McDuck, where else can you have a great night out with friends for just seven bucks?
    
    
23. I can't come on Fridays else I would miss the Friday Night Footy on the telly.
    Oh dear, there is simply no hope for some people!
    
    
24. I only like to dress in stilettos and lingerie. Going out might cause me to catch a cold.
    It certainly would draw attention to you as well. Invest in a nice skirt and blouse, and a dress, and maybe another skirt and, oh yes, that lovely top you saw at the shops the other day, and...
    
    
25. I would if only I could change at the meeting hall.
    And indeed you can.