Nowra Outreach Report 2010

Report from Julia, Seahorse President

Friday

In the afternoon, Susan and I drove to Nowra with our wives. We met with Carolyn just before dinner and discussed the format of the following day. We also discussed who had been approached, tried to identify who had replied to the invitations sent out and how many may have been attending. After dinner, I spent about 2 hours with one of our members who was having family difficulties and who was able to come to the Motel.

Saturday

We began the Seminar at 10:30am with registrations and coffee and biscuits with the actual program beginning at 11am. During this time people were encouraged to look at the papers on various topics presented that were displayed on the entry table and to take a copy of any paper that caught their interest. These papers included "Cause and Effect", "The Power of the Brain", "What are thought processes?", "Depression: how to live with depression", "Spiritual conflict caused by our diversity", suggested reading material, a directory of support services, and "The 4 Step Program to find You", just to mention some material that was available.

Morning session

The opening address by Susan (membership secretary) - welcoming the delegates and then presenting a summary of who and what the Society is, followed by a short talk on all the programs available to members: social and support. Susan then shared with all of us about her life: the highs and lows, etc. and how she and her wife coped with living with Susan as a cross-dresser. This was very well received as we all agreed that there were many similar experiences had by all of us.

I presented the 1st lecture on the following; "What is cross-dressing?", "How it manifests in all cultures", "How cross-dressing is not a new thing". I included some cultural examples and historic examples. I also discussed how cross-dressing can become a catalyst for problems in relationships, and how these problems can lead to other problems such as depression, even all the way down to suicide. I also talked about how we were attempting to help, not only our own members by learning about others, but also the wider general community, and how we had become "consultants" for the Human Rights Commission and Mental Health. I also described how we were able to gather information from overseas to assist even the professionals understand us and help us in our life walk. A small questionnaire type discussion followed. I also talked about our new service programs for members and how these were working and how to make them accessible for the members. e.g. Regional Country Coordinators.

Next, there was a presentation by my wife, Amy. Amy talked about her reactions when I came out to her about myself, and some of the difficulties that she had experienced, and how she was able to come to terms with the phenomena, including some of the pit falls, such as to tell or not to tell the family, work colleagues, friends, etc. Amy also "told it like it is" from a woman's perspective and gave some useful points of suggestions, on what she and some of the other wives had shared, as to what they considered acceptable boundaries of behaviour. This also was followed by a "very enlightening" discussion period.

Afternoon session

I gave this presentation about acceptable social behaviour protocols, as to when we are out in public presenting as our other self, e.g. What bathrooms to use, what to do when stopped by the R.B.T., when shopping, what not to do, when travelling by public transport. Some suggested useful hints when out in public as to how to handle some "sticky" situations, etc. A small discussion followed with people questioning some of the examples used and to their outcomes.

Presentation by Sandra, Susan's wife, and who also has been manning the partner's support phone. Sandra talked at some length about the problems that others had expressed, and shared the suggestions that she had made to the partners, wives and others who had approached the support phone. Sandra also put forward a proposal of continuation of the "social get together" by the wives/partners a couple of times a year. This intention not only to just have social contact, but also build on the successful day that she had at their home this year, where the wives/partners came with their husbands/partners, dressed as men, for a general social. This trial day proved to be very successful and popular, and I think this type of event will continue next year.

My second presentation contained detailed examples of the theories and topics of "why we are who we are" by presenting some of the information that I had collect re genetics verses learned behaviour, transsexual, hormones, gay, etc. Also what makes a person? . Detailed examples given of how we can change Body and Mind by medical and/or psychological intervention; but the Soul (the inner spirit of man) cannot be changed, with examples and reasons that prove this theory. I then presented the exercise of "The 4 Steps to Find You" with the expressed encouragement to go further under professional guidance, using this basic program as a starting guide for communications.

I finished this presentation by some descriptions of developments that were occurring in government legislation in Australia and overseas regarding sex and gender diversity.

A second discussion period followed on all that had been presented during the day. This final part closed the seminar with a "thanks to all who attended" and those who had participated in presentations. The Seminar closed at 4:30pm.

Post-Seminar social time

We then recessed again moving to the rotunda in the Motels' garden for afternoon tea (a few pre-dinner drinks and nibbles) and all continued with some sharing and discussions on the topics that we had discussed during the day, as well as some stories of life experiences.

At 7:00pm, we reconvened at the motel restaurant for our dinner and some more social time. This was a nice conclusion to a well-spent day of sharing experiences, discussions and acquiring some more knowledge and understanding about ourselves and us as individuals.

Final Comments

We had 18 people attend the Seminar, including some members with their wives/partners; some had come down from Sydney and we even had one member come from Bateman's Bay. We also had 1 counsellor attending as well. That night we had 16 for dinner. I had sent out 26 invitations to the professional groups and counsellors within a radius of 250 kms of Nowra prior to the event. From those approaches, I had 7 replies stating that they could/would not attend because of weekend commitments (family etc.) However, the 7 who did respond, did ask for copies of our papers, on the topics that would be discussed, and any promotional material about the Seahorse Society: the Directory, phone numbers, email and web contacts, so I still got their contact details and aroused their interest, even though they did not physically attend the seminar. So I feel that we still have achieved what I/we set out to do on this Seminar to Nowra. My thanks to Amy, Susan and Sandra and Carolyn for all the work that they did producing this successful event.

With thanks Julia (President).

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