A person has been born with a disconnect between their anatomy and perception of self. This results in a feeling that their body does not live in harmony with their brain. A boy dreams of wearing dresses, jewellery that sparkles and make up. A girl wants to play rugby, change flat tires and leave the toilet seat up.
I love someone very deeply in this predicament. Their gender is far less important to me than their humanity.
If you are learning, perhaps belatedly, that you too love someone tormented by transgenderism, then please remember: it is not about you.
No one wishes to create pronoun dilemmas for friends and family just for a bit of fun. For many in this rarified situation these feelings come with an acute inner turmoil that can be a supreme challenge with which to cope.
Some fall into depression or succeed in drowning their desire to live as the opposite gender by being incessantly busy or numbing themselves with harmful habits. The goal is simply to Deny at all cost that which could cause loved ones upset or jeopardise a career, thus putting livelihood or achievements at risk.
To be transgender is not a crime. Yet the person born with this condition is in fact a victim. It is often given the label "gender dysphoria" so that those subscribing to the symptoms might access helpful services.
Putting labels aside, it is what it is.
I so very much wish that those who must one day learn someone they know is transgender - maybe even are related to such an exotic person - that they are able to see clearly that any period of time where they did not know has nothing to do with a desire to deceive or fool them.
How can a transgender person share such information when they do not accept or understand their own feelings?